09.09.09, 09:09 in Berlin – it’s SCHWA time!

schwa_question

Please read the Forever SCHWA and the Moron SCHWA announcements first.
Be sure to check the articles Schwagain and Breaking Schwa, too.


schwa-head.gif

Breaking News

This may be the ultimate SCHWA post on this blog, because BILL BARKER HAS BEEN FOUND. And more: He even commented on a Schwa entry, here on this blog. As it happens, he is working on his 4th book and is about to launch his new website TOTAL MEDIA BLACKOUT on September 11th, 2009. And he even gives his e-mail adress, should you like to contact him!

921a294c5a6f548e4c81f19045d5b718.gif
In the future, evrything will work

Also on TOTAL MEDIA BLACKLOUT, there is (or rather was, some days ago) part of the old Schwa archive, including an overview of good old SCHWA PRODUCTS (it was the old Schwa shop – and apparently there will be a new one as well). How awesome is that *gg* (ok I’m white and nerdy. Sue me).


Fake Schwa?

Every now and then, someone will comment on any of the SCHWA articles. People who loved SCHWA and the art of Bill Barker – and still do in most cases. Seeing and sharing this kind of enthusiasm, I still am somewhat furious about the sad attempt to wring money out of SCHWA by this bad excuse of a fake SCHWA store on schwacorporation.com. Being somewhat of a perfectionist in all things SCHWA, I even get mad when I see an imitation of Barker’s SCHWA alien head logo. Whether it’s the eyes that are too big or too small or at the wrong angle or the outline of the head that’s too thick or thin or… WRONG – I … yaaaargh!

So, I’m giving you what little new (original or very-well faked) SCHWA items I was able to find. Njoy! And be sure to send me pics or scans of whatever original SCHWA stuff you still own (at reasonable sizes, please).

Let’s begin with some SCHWAvatars:

schwa-head.gifschwavatar-1schwavatar-2

Then, I found some of the wonderful slogans of SCHWA on wikiquote, of which I will present my all-time favorites here:

KEEP REALITY SECRET

LIFE IS MORE FUN IF YOU DON’T TALK

INDIFFERENCE MAKES NO DIFFERENCE

STOP DOMESTICATING YOURSELF

DO MORE NOW

SUPPORT ALIENOLOGY

THERE IS A RATIONAL EXPLANATION FOR EVERYTHING.
THERE IS ALSO AN IRRATIONAL ONE.

WHY DO YOU THINK THEY CALL IT SPACE?

DEFECTIVE! THIS PART OF REALITY IS KNOWN TO BE DEFECTIVE AND SHOULD NOT BE CONSIDERED REAL IN ANY WAY. CONTACT THE SCHWA CORPORATION BEFORE YOU BELIEVE

THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE IS BETWEEN YOUR EYES.

THIS COMPUTER HAS BEEN CLEANSED. CONTENTS NOT INCLUDED.

INFINITY IS LIFE’S WAY OF SAYING SLOW DOWN.

NOW IS THE FUTURE YOUR PARENTS WARNED YOU ABOUT.

THERE IS NO FUTURE LIKE THE PRESENT.

THE FUTURES MARKET WILL EVENTUALLY TRADE TIME.

YOU WILL FORGET THIS PREDICTION.

POPULAR MUSIC WILL CHANGE TO THE POINT
WHERE YOU NO LONGER THINK IT IS ANY GOOD.

BY 2020, THE ENTIRE SURFACE OF THE EARTH WILL BE A MOVIE THEATER.

Which, given the rise of mobile cams and youtube, google maps and augmented reality, it already is.

hallucination

If you know anything or have a suggestion or if you have discovered a place with shirts/pics not already shown in this blog, please leave a comment. Feel free to post original or fan-made „SCHWA quotes“ as a comment. And remember:

Don’t follow instructions! NOW!

schwa-brain.jpg


THE SCHWA CORPORATION SPONSORS EVERYONE. AND EVERYONE SPONSORS SCHWA.


raben-aas is a licensed schwa operative. but what does that mean?

Blog | Inexhaustable D&D Dungeon Map Supply

For many D&D Gamemasters, this may be an old hat. But I discovered that even the oldest news is still utterly unknown to many, and since finding a decent map (or making one up on the fly because the players are already on their way to the game or decide to make a surprise turn during the session) is such a common concern for all gamemasters, I’ll say it nevertheless:

There is an almost inexhaustable supply of dungeon, castle, town, cavern, ship, fortress, temple, village, sewer and … everything … maps right on the Website of Wizards of the Coast!

It’s a little hard to find since they shifted everything to 4e, but the link to the 3.5 stuff is still there, and maps don’t come with an edition number, right?

Here’s the D&D dungeon and adventure maps archive

I especially recommend this section of the archive with tons of material!

SAGE ADVICE: Since it just MAY be that Wizards will at one point or the other REMOVE the archive in their effort to promote 4e and the 4e online services, I strongly suggest that you download ALL maps you might EVER need!

maps.jpg

And if you should ever need MORE maps – or maps that are finetuned and customized to your needs – you can always use the Random Dungeon Generator.