Breaking Schwa!

Please read the Forever SCHWA and the Moron SCHWA announcements first.


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Breaking News

Only three days ago, I found some new items on Schwa. Meanwhile, I have found some more As I was rummaging around wikipedia, I thought: „let’s check the discussion on the Schwa (art) article“. And voilà, there  I found info concerning someone or something called „Compuwatcher“ and the tidbit that said entity owns two schwa websites I never heard of before:  schwapyramid.com and schwareturns.com.

The first features and older pic/screen of an original Bill Barker game (and a link to a sad parody of a schwa shop, obiously NOT by Bill), the second features an almost-wallpaper-sized quasi-schwa pic:

dellienware2_schwa-copy

But it doesn’t stop here. Checking the name of the picture, I read „dellienware2_schwa copy.jpg“ and immediately noticed the name „dellienware“ – which I googled – and found an article about a corporation named Alienware (hint, hint) that apparently was bought by Dell in 2006, changing its name to Dellienware. And while I wasn’t able to find anything aboit Dellienware on wikipedia, I did find an article about Alienware – including a pic of their schwaistique logo:

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What does that mean? I don’t know. Maybe Compuwatcher ripped off an old Alienware wallpaper and pasted „SCHWA“ on its forehead. Maybe Compuwatcher IS Dellienware – or former Dellienware – and Dell sold the corp and now they want to call themselves The Schwa Corporation (or Schwalienware, who knows). In any case it is quite unlikely that Bill Barker has any connection to the project(s) of Compuwatcher.

Also, some anonymous guy wrote this into the Schwa wikipedia discussion:

„As to his (Bill Barker’s) whereabouts just so you dont have to wonder I am his Nephew I saw this and He is in southern califnornia though I cant tell where for fear he may be bothered by people but he is not well, mentally he takes alot of medicine and you can never expect any more schwa stuff out of him, sadly I put this in so people dont have to wonder about it“

Info and author are totally unverified, however.

If you know anything or have a suggestion or if you have discovered a place with shirts/pics not already shown in this blog, please leave a comment. And remember:

Don’t follow instructions! NOW!


THE SCHWA CORPORATION SPONSORS EVERYONE. AND EVERYONE SPONSORS SCHWA.


raben-aas is a licensed schwa operative. but what does that mean?

Schwagain!

Please read the Forever SCHWA and the Moron SCHWA announcements first.


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Another goodie

It’s been a while, but finall I have found some more tidbits and pix of the lost Schwa Corporation.

Apparantly, the website theschwacorporation.net – not the original schwa site, that was theschwacorporation.com (now offering links to porn) – featured a countdown and the schwastique line „a new ending of the beginning“. The countdown ended on Feb. 23rd 2009 and has now been replaced with the words „past due“. Huh.

On this, wikipedia says: „However, given the fact that the domain (theschwacorporation.net) is registered to ‚Compuwatcher‘ with an administrative and technical contact of Tim McFall out of Tracy, CA as opposed to Mr. Barker’s usual private contact information and Reno, NV P.O. Box, it’s highly probable that the domain was taken over.“

Well, we’re back to waiting.

On flickr, I found these pix of old Schwa shirts that I would like to share here.

Gosh, I loved my „this is a test of the emergency t-shirt system“ shirt. Bill, wherever you are: Good man!


The Schwa corporation’s statement of sponsorship or non-sporsorship has already been added to the disclaimer section of this website.

THE SCHWA CORPORATION SPONSORS EVERYONE. AND EVERYONE SPONSORS SCHWA.


raben-aas is a licensed schwa operative. but what does that mean?

Another lost SCHWA message

This message was recovered from a now-defunct website.

Please read the Forever SCHWA and the Moron SCHWA announcements first.


A SCHWA DISCLAIMER

*The Schwa Corporation’s sponsorship of this page does not entail censorship; approval; monetary, technical, or labor support; knowledge; denials; contributions; and/or legal responsibility. The Schwa Corporation does not review this page or officially acknowledge its existence. The Schwa Corporation’s sponsorship of this page is limited to its unwitting facilitation of its contents, by providing graphics as free advertisements for the Schwa Corporation. The Schwa Corporation did not write and has no knowledge of this statement of non-sponsorship, and will subsidize no related seminars or training. If you do not understand the above non-sponsorship and/or statement of nonauthorship thereof, pretend that you do. Consult the World Operations Manual for instructions (defunct link)

The Schwa corporation’s statement of spomsorship or non-sporsorship has already been added to the disclaimer section of this website.

THE SCHWA CORPORATION SPONSORS EVERYONE. AND EVERYONE SPONSORS SCHWA.


raben-aas is a licensed schwa operative. but what does that mean?

Discover the lost Scanwave site!

Please read the Forever SCHWA and the Moron SCHWA announcements first.


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Another goodie

brought to you by the SCHWA foundation.

By use of the latest in WBM time travel engineering and photon batstrings, we have implemented a wormhole link to the meanwhile defunct scanwave site „as it was“ in the year 2000. Please note that time travel can lead to the visual illusion of missing pieces or pictures, whereas these are, of course, there and fully operational.

[ enable time travel to scanwave.com as of Aug 5th, 2000 ] 

Lost SCHWA message

This message was recovered from a now-defunct website.

Please read the Forever SCHWA and the Moron SCHWA announcements first.


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A GUIDE TO THE SCHWA MOTEL

*WELCOME!*

Welcome to the Schwa Motel, where the less things change, the more they stay the same. During your stay, you may encounter feelings of confusion and curiousity. To prevent this from becoming an unmanageable phenomenon, we’ve put together A Guide to the Schwa Motel. Rest easy.

*CHECK-IN AND CHECK-OUT*

To check in to the Motel, send e-mail to (defunct e-mail link) with the following text in the body of the message:

subscribe abducted

To check out of the Motel, send e-mail to (defunct e-mail link) with this text in the body of the message:

unsubscribe abducted

Check-in and check-out times are completely up to you; we’re open 24/7/365. Come on in. Stay for a while.

*THE HISTORY OF THE SCHWA MOTEL*

Founded in the past, the Schwa Motel has always existed to serve weary travellers or create a new home. Without our work, the world would be a different place.

We realized that those truly dedicated to the work of the Schwa Corporation might want a place to call their own. So we built the motel, gave it the unique Schwa feel, and started renting out rooms. Now we feature a full-fledged casino, a cafe, and a pool. The Schwa Motel has grown tremendously from its corporate roots.

*WHAT IS SCHWA?*

A representative survey of captive citizens showed virtual uncertainty about Schwa. To resolve this problem, we offer the following sample of responses:

Schwa is:
– the noise everybody makes and nobody hears.
– the earthquake in space and the tidal wave on the moon.
– the subtlety everyone grasps; the obvious fact everyone ignores.
– a sign of truth.
– mostly harmless.

*CAN I FIND SCHWA ON THE WORLD-WIDE WEB?*

Yes. The Schwa Corporation has an official home page at:
http://www.theschwacorporation.com (currently defunct)

*THERE’S SOMETHING GOING ON, ISN’T THERE?*

No. Remain calm.

*WHY SHOULD I CHECK INTO THE MOTEL?*

Things have been tight for a pretty long time. Much of our lives are spent exposed to danger, entertainment, and other distractions. The balance of life is clearly out of order.

The motel is offered as-is, with no guarantees. The Schwa Corporation is not responsible for anything, and particularly not any problems connected with your existence. However…

There is a Utopian element within the corporation, which hopes to use the Motel for the betterment of humanity. Recognizing the value in swallowing the competition, the Schwa Corporation has graciously allowed this element to fester and grow.

Much of this element is housed in the Motel. You might meet someone you know.

*WHERE IS THE SCHWA AMUSEMENT PARK?*

The Schwa Amusement Park does not exist

Moron SCHWA

The headline was a typo. Typos are the universe’s way to communicate.

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In the future, evrything will work

This is a public blog announcement of the fact that the quest for SCHWA has begun. If you don’t know what SCHWA ist, read this. Don’t follow instructions. Now.

This public blog announcement has four items:

Item 1: This blog will try to collect every trace left by the SCHWA corporation, including but not limited to the quest for remaining t-shirts, unknown or lost artwork-slash-texts-slash-websites and the current location of Bill Barker

Item 2: This blog will try to bring satisfied customers of the SCHWA corporation together so that whatever code has been implemented in our brain by the SCHWA corporation via VDT (visual data transfer) can be pooled and decrypted

Item 3: This blog invites all SCHWA fans to learn of and use the SCHWA corporation’s teachings to the end that new messages can be generated that follow the original code encoded by the SCHWA Corporation. The goal will be the founding of the SCHWA foundation as the next logical step in artificial trans-human evolution, as suggested by the World Operations Manual

Item 4: There is no item 4