09.09.09, 09:09 in Berlin – it’s SCHWA time!

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Please read the Forever SCHWA and the Moron SCHWA announcements first.
Be sure to check the articles Schwagain and Breaking Schwa, too.


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Breaking News

This may be the ultimate SCHWA post on this blog, because BILL BARKER HAS BEEN FOUND. And more: He even commented on a Schwa entry, here on this blog. As it happens, he is working on his 4th book and is about to launch his new website TOTAL MEDIA BLACKOUT on September 11th, 2009. And he even gives his e-mail adress, should you like to contact him!

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In the future, evrything will work

Also on TOTAL MEDIA BLACKLOUT, there is (or rather was, some days ago) part of the old Schwa archive, including an overview of good old SCHWA PRODUCTS (it was the old Schwa shop – and apparently there will be a new one as well). How awesome is that *gg* (ok I’m white and nerdy. Sue me).


Fake Schwa?

Every now and then, someone will comment on any of the SCHWA articles. People who loved SCHWA and the art of Bill Barker – and still do in most cases. Seeing and sharing this kind of enthusiasm, I still am somewhat furious about the sad attempt to wring money out of SCHWA by this bad excuse of a fake SCHWA store on schwacorporation.com. Being somewhat of a perfectionist in all things SCHWA, I even get mad when I see an imitation of Barker’s SCHWA alien head logo. Whether it’s the eyes that are too big or too small or at the wrong angle or the outline of the head that’s too thick or thin or… WRONG – I … yaaaargh!

So, I’m giving you what little new (original or very-well faked) SCHWA items I was able to find. Njoy! And be sure to send me pics or scans of whatever original SCHWA stuff you still own (at reasonable sizes, please).

Let’s begin with some SCHWAvatars:

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Then, I found some of the wonderful slogans of SCHWA on wikiquote, of which I will present my all-time favorites here:

KEEP REALITY SECRET

LIFE IS MORE FUN IF YOU DON’T TALK

INDIFFERENCE MAKES NO DIFFERENCE

STOP DOMESTICATING YOURSELF

DO MORE NOW

SUPPORT ALIENOLOGY

THERE IS A RATIONAL EXPLANATION FOR EVERYTHING.
THERE IS ALSO AN IRRATIONAL ONE.

WHY DO YOU THINK THEY CALL IT SPACE?

DEFECTIVE! THIS PART OF REALITY IS KNOWN TO BE DEFECTIVE AND SHOULD NOT BE CONSIDERED REAL IN ANY WAY. CONTACT THE SCHWA CORPORATION BEFORE YOU BELIEVE

THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE IS BETWEEN YOUR EYES.

THIS COMPUTER HAS BEEN CLEANSED. CONTENTS NOT INCLUDED.

INFINITY IS LIFE’S WAY OF SAYING SLOW DOWN.

NOW IS THE FUTURE YOUR PARENTS WARNED YOU ABOUT.

THERE IS NO FUTURE LIKE THE PRESENT.

THE FUTURES MARKET WILL EVENTUALLY TRADE TIME.

YOU WILL FORGET THIS PREDICTION.

POPULAR MUSIC WILL CHANGE TO THE POINT
WHERE YOU NO LONGER THINK IT IS ANY GOOD.

BY 2020, THE ENTIRE SURFACE OF THE EARTH WILL BE A MOVIE THEATER.

Which, given the rise of mobile cams and youtube, google maps and augmented reality, it already is.

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If you know anything or have a suggestion or if you have discovered a place with shirts/pics not already shown in this blog, please leave a comment. Feel free to post original or fan-made „SCHWA quotes“ as a comment. And remember:

Don’t follow instructions! NOW!

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THE SCHWA CORPORATION SPONSORS EVERYONE. AND EVERYONE SPONSORS SCHWA.


raben-aas is a licensed schwa operative. but what does that mean?

Schwagain!

Please read the Forever SCHWA and the Moron SCHWA announcements first.


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Another goodie

It’s been a while, but finall I have found some more tidbits and pix of the lost Schwa Corporation.

Apparantly, the website theschwacorporation.net – not the original schwa site, that was theschwacorporation.com (now offering links to porn) – featured a countdown and the schwastique line „a new ending of the beginning“. The countdown ended on Feb. 23rd 2009 and has now been replaced with the words „past due“. Huh.

On this, wikipedia says: „However, given the fact that the domain (theschwacorporation.net) is registered to ‚Compuwatcher‘ with an administrative and technical contact of Tim McFall out of Tracy, CA as opposed to Mr. Barker’s usual private contact information and Reno, NV P.O. Box, it’s highly probable that the domain was taken over.“

Well, we’re back to waiting.

On flickr, I found these pix of old Schwa shirts that I would like to share here.

Gosh, I loved my „this is a test of the emergency t-shirt system“ shirt. Bill, wherever you are: Good man!


The Schwa corporation’s statement of sponsorship or non-sporsorship has already been added to the disclaimer section of this website.

THE SCHWA CORPORATION SPONSORS EVERYONE. AND EVERYONE SPONSORS SCHWA.


raben-aas is a licensed schwa operative. but what does that mean?

Blog | Mehr T-Shirts

Noch auf der Suche nach nem passenden Xmas-Geschenk? (Für mich, zum Beispiel? *g*). Wie schon in diesem Artikel bemerkt, bin ich ein großer Freund von „Kleidung mit Attitude“. Also Stuff mit Sprüchen, Witzen, und Doppeldeutigkeiten, die über die reichlich abgegriffenen Sauf-Sprüche deutscher Joke-Shirts hinausgehen.

Hier präsentiere ich nun eine Selektion cyberpunkiger bzw. Shadowrun-fähiger Shirts für Gamer mit Attitude, alle vom Shop SPLITREASON. Enjoy!

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Blog | Funny T-Shirts

Ever since that golden day I bought my first shirt from the SCHWA corporation, I have been a big fan of „t-shirts with a message“. I mean, really: instead of wearing any of those „fake worn-out“ shirts with broken college or football emblems, you could just as easily wear a shirt that says „You only envy me because the voices won’t talk to you“ or „I’m from the bomb squad. If you see me run – FOLLOW!“.

So every now and then, I’ll present some of the funnier (or weirder) examples of t-shirts I stumbled upon while surfing the internet.

Shirt designs by Crack Smoking Shirts:

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Shirt designs by Busted Tees:

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Shirt designs by T-Shirt Hell:

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Of course, all of these shirts become obsolete once Philip’s lumalive shirts hit the streets (better known by Cyberpunks as „Urban Flash“):

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